As your loved one ages, it’s important to find ways to balance their need for extra care and attention with their desire for independence and autonomy.
While you might worry about their risk of a fall, accident, or health issue, trying to take charge of their life or even offer helpful advice might be seen as controlling.
When that happens, your efforts will have the opposite effect than intended, and might risk further alienating your loved one or making them feel isolated and defensive.
Here are some tips for approaching senior home safety without coming off as controlling.
Begin With Soft Conversations in Neutral Territory
Begin discussions around the subject of home safety by starting soft conversations.
This means that you shouldn’t make a big deal about the subject or make it seem dire or heavy. Instead, lightly bring it up when the two of you are in a neutral area or in a place your loved one feels secure and comfortable.
Try to avoid acting aggressive, confrontational, assertive, or demanding. Instead, simply raise a concern you have regarding your loved one’s safety in their home by bringing up one specific example to focus on.
For instance, “I’m concerned about the increase in break-ins in your neighborhood and I’m worried your home is vulnerable,” or “It looks like your front steps are weather-damaged, do you think there’s a chance you could trip and fall?”
Listen With Patience and Empathy
Remember that you’re talking about changes to your loved one’s routine, home, and environment, which will require adjustments on their part.
Give them time to voice their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without interrupting.
Listen with patience and empathy, and try repeating phrases back to them to make sure you fully understand what they are saying.
Ask What They Want and Need, Not What You Think Should Happen
Rather than framing the conversation as something that needs to be done regardless of your loved one’s feelings, give them a chance to tell you what they want and need.
Try asking open-ended questions, like “Living alone can be hard, do you feel like you need help with anything around the house?” or “Can we make any home modifications that would make it easier for you to handle your daily routine?”
This can be a good jumping off point to see what your loved one is worried about, bring up your own concerns, and brainstorm solutions together.
Only Involve Other Family Members if They Can Be Constructive
While you might assume it will help to have “backup” from other family members, talking about a sensitive subject in a group may make your loved one feel ganged up on.
If you want to respect their independence and autonomy, consider having your first conversation alone.
You can get suggestions and feedback from family members first, and then broach the subject with your loved one when the two of you are alone in a quiet space.
However, if your family is close and you know that everyone can participate in the conversation in a constructive way, a group meeting may be fine.
Prioritize Non-Invasive Safety Upgrades
Unless your loved one has a chronic injury, illness, or medical problem that requires daily care from a professional, start by making non-invasive changes in the home.
Consider installing safety technology, like security cameras, a doorbell camera, window alarms, and a home automation system. These can improve safety while still preserving your loved one’s independence.
Installing safety bars in the shower and by the bed and tub can reduce the risk of a fall, while automated lighting systems can improve safety, visibility, and comfort.
Consider wearable tech like fall-detection devices or a fitness tracker, which can monitor your loved one’s vital signs.
Increase Social Engagement
If you have a big family, try to increase participation in holidays and events. If possible, hold them at your loved one’s house so that they can be involved without the risk of driving or navigating public transportation.
You can also encourage your loved one to take part in community events for seniors, join a local club, volunteer somewhere, or participate in a hobby outside of the home. This can help them avoid loneliness and isolation without the need to have people in their home.
Assist With Housework and Errands
If you notice that your loved one is not able to drive, go grocery shopping, make meals, or keep up with housework, but you don’t want to risk offending them, consider making an offer to help out.
Offer to take them to the grocery store or bring pre-made meals over, or even sign them up for a meal delivery service.
Tell them you can hire a housekeeper or in-home caregiver to come every two weeks to help them out, or see if you and other family members can assist with labor-intensive chores like laundry, mopping floors, taking out the trash, doing yard work, and getting rid of clutter.
Provide Resources and Educational Materials
A non-confrontational way to make your loved one aware of potential home safety risks is to provide them with resources and educational materials.
That way, they can educate themselves and come to their own conclusions without feeling as though they are being lectured.
You might consider talking to someone at a local caregiving agency, an elder lawyer, or community agency for seniors about where to find pamphlets or other materials that bring up relevant statistics or information.
Schedule a Home Safety Evaluation
If your loved one agrees, schedule a home safety evaluation to find out what areas of the home need attention. The process can be eye-opening for your loved one, cluing them into areas they didn’t realize were dangerous.
An evaluator will inspect the home thoroughly, pointing out issues like slip and fall hazards, poor lighting, security risks, malfunctioning appliances, and more.
When your loved one gets this information from an expert, they may be more amenable to making changes that will make the home safer and more comfortable.
Let Your Loved One Know That You Care About Them and Aren’t Trying to Take Over Their Life
Above all, reiterate to your loved one that you want them to be able to remain independent.
Tell them that your only goal is to make sure they can safely stay in their home.
Assure them that you aren’t going to make any changes without their consent and that you want them to be a part of the process.
Know When It’s Time to Hire In-Home Care
If your loved one does need a higher level of care than you can provide, or if they are no longer able to bathe or dress themselves or make meals, consider hiring an in-home caregiver.
At Placita In Home Care, we can assess your loved one’s needs, discuss your goals and concerns, and help you determine the best course of action for your family.
We offer highly personalized home care services from experts in elder care.
In addition to assistance with the activities of daily living and mobility assistance, we also provide companionship, conversation, and mental stimulation that can reduce the risk of isolation and loneliness.
We provide the services needed to allow your loved one to age in place in the comfort of their own home while remaining safe and healthy.
To schedule a consultation for in-home care in the Tucson or Phoenix metro area, call us today or fill out our contact form online.